Last night as I was pulling onto campus around 10:45 pm and I saw a group of girls walking out of their dorm down the side walk. I could go into specifics about how they were dressed, or I could just say that it was pretty obvious that they were going to a party. As I rode by in the car and watched them walking all I could think was, "you're better than that". Then I started thinking about the thousands of other girls who had spent hours getting ready for a Friday night and were now walking down the street to their debut.
Then this morning I woke up and was scrolling through my Facebook timeline when I saw an article posted and decided to click on it because it was 8 in the morning on a Saturday and I had nothing better to do. I also just really love reading articles. Anyways, this article was essentially saying: do everything you want. Make mistakes, get hurt, fail, make a fool of yourself, do really, really, stupid and hurtful things on purpose- and don't judge other girls for doing the same. It said to do this while you were in college and it said that, without a doubt, those 4 college years would be the best 4 years of your life. As I was reading, my heart was breaking again.
Now I know that I don't drink, I don't go to parties, I don't spend hours perfecting my hair and makeup, I don't wear skin-tight skirts and shirts that show off my boobs, and I probably, God willing, will never do any of those things. But I can still relate to these girls more than you know. Because I, like them, find my worth in things that I shouldn't. Every girl does.
I might not drink but I want attention. I don't go to parties but I still put pressure on myself to be the funniest, coolest, realest girl among my friends. I might not spend hours perfecting my hair and makeup, but I compare myself to other girls and how pretty I think they are and I wake up every morning to put on my makeup because I could never imagine going to class without mascara. I don't wear skin-tight skirts or shirts that show off my boobs, but if you think that I don't put thought into what I wear, you're wrong.
The point is, I'm not judging these girls. My heart breaks for them because I see myself in them. I see my sin in them. I am these girls. I see them wanting attention, wanting to look the hottest, wanting to be the most desired, wanting to have the craziest night. I want those things too. It might look different, but it's the same. Trust me, it's the exact same. Putting your worth where it doesn't belong is dangerous no matter where you put it.
Girls, I am writing this to myself as much as I am anyone else, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. The Lord has been teaching me about beauty more and more lately and He has been screaming to me that beauty comes from the heart. It always has and it always will. It's so cliche, and I hate that the world has turned it into a mundane, worthless saying, but it is Truth. Vulnerability is beautiful. A gentle spirit is beautiful. Silent confidence is beautiful. Do not buy into this world, don't feed off of the lie that beauty is what you see when you look in the mirror. Don't listen when it says you need to lose 10 pounds before spring break. Run away when the world tells you that your eyes aren't striking enough, or that if your nose was just a little smaller your face would be perfect. Beauty isn't in your hair, your makeup, your clothes, your shoes, or your boy friend. Beauty is in your heart, it's in how real and vulnerable you're willing to be.
The Lord says there ins't a flaw within you, you were fearfully and wonderfully made, you are the Lord's craftsmanship. Your bodies are perfect. Your face is perfect. Work on your heart. Pay attention to it, strengthen it, pray for it. That is where your beauty lies.
Now for the article.
I respect this author's opinion. But I also respectfully disagree. I disagree with mostly all of it. Besides the part about not judging other girls. That was a good message, I support that. But the rest of it can go.
Sorry, but you shouldn't try to intentionally be your worst self just because it's college and you can. You will get hurt, it's inevitable. I get hurt all the time and I try to be the best version of myself. But if you don't take caution when it come to your actions, your scars and your pain will be so unnecessarily deep. Don't be reckless with your heart. Protect it. It so, so precious and sensitive. Take care of it. Don't abuse it. Don't make it numb. Your actions reflect and impact your heart. So act wisely and act accordingly. That's all I will say about that.
Now. Sorry, but college will not be the best 4 years of your life. Don't get me wrong. I am so, so happy. I LOVE being in college. I love it because you have all the freedom of being an adult with about one fourth of the responsibility. It's great. But this is not as good as it gets. It cannot be. Sure, we are young, pretty, carefree, and our bodies will probably never look this good again. But if those are the standards by which you measure you happiness or quality of life, then yeah, you're right, these are the best 4 years. Because from that perspective, it's all down hill after you walk across that stage. But I hope that life is more than that. My hope is that life gets better with age, that it gets better as I walk closer and closer to God and as I get further into this adventure He has planned for me. Is he blessing me right now while I'm in college? Yes. A thousand times yes. Will He continue to bless me after I graduate? I couldn't be more sure of something. Don't put these 4 years on an impossible pedestal for them to live up to. They're fun and great, but they aren't the end, and by no means are they the best 4 years of your life.
Lastly:
Girls, you are better than what you are settling for. You deserve more than parties and boys who don't really care and pressure to look a certain way. You are more than the clothes you wear, you are prettier than the makeup you put on your face. You matter. Your life matters, your actions matter, your heart matters.
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