Hope is Real.

Lately I have been thinking about the hope that we have in Christ.

God has been exposing me to more and more of the world and as He does this my heart hurts for what I see but my hope in Christ is strengthened.

The first time He broke my heart over this hope was in my Philosophy and Religion class. Our first assignment for this class was to write about our religious back ground. This was easy for me. I just wrote out my testimony. Well I sit at the front of my row and this day some guy was sitting behind me. He passed his paper up with the rest of the ones from our row and his was on top. I am not typically that girl who reads other people's work but the teacher was taking forever to collect them so I decided to take a glance. The first two sentences said, "I believe that there is no purpose for our existence. We are here by mistake and chance."

What. I knew that people believed this, obviously, but for some reason, in that moment, it became real. This guy really thinks that he is here for no reason at all, he was a mistake, everyone was a mistake. Even now I can't wrap my mind around it. And it breaks my heart. There is so much that he doesn't know. He doesn't know God's love. His fierce, unfailing, intentional love. He doesn't know that his life has meaning and purpose and God has plans for him. If I didn't have this hope in Christ, I would be so lost. What would be the point in living? This guy literally doesn't have one. And that is scary and sad.

The next thing that has been breaking my heart is my work. I love where I work. But it can be really hard. I tend to pour out a lot. I don't think anyone there knows Jesus. They are actually crazy. I have yet to go to work without someone asking me if I have a fake or where I go out or what I am doing this weekend. Every time I just have to laugh and tell them I don't drink. Then they usually ask if I smoke and I laugh a little harder and say no to that one too. Then the conversation shifts and I usually feel judged or looked down on or treated like I'm 12. There are also other things that I have found out about them that I won't say- but lets just say, I was shocked and I can't believe that some of these things are now acceptable, even normal.

I don't look at these people and judge them or resent them for treating me different or anything like that. I look at them and, once again, my heart breaks. I see how wrapped up in this world they are, how much their sin is affecting their lives and the relationships they talk about. I think that God has been showing me just how out of place I am, not just at work, but in this world. In the world but not of the world. I used to think that was a really nice cliche saying from church. But lately God has been making it come to life for me. I see how weird my life is compared to the world and how out of place this love is.

Last, I see this in other people in my life, too. People I really care about. People I have known for years and love. And it breaks my heart even more. I see them living below their potential. I see them building up walls and hiding behind them. I see them looking for escapes. I see them trying to fill a void that they can't explain. I see them searching for more. I see so much of "if I could just feel less, I would be happy". Can I just say that this is a lie. It's straight up from the devil. He wants you to feel less, he wants you to feel as if you are worthless, he wants you to feel as if you aren't good enough, he wants to hurt you, he wants to make you feel alone, and he wants you to feel as if your life has no purpose. The thief came to kill, steal, and destroy. And he is doing just that. I can see it. It doesn't take a lot of hard looking to see that our world is broken and hurting. Anyways, I can see people I love hurting and it makes me hurt. And I don't know how to deal with it. And most days it makes me really sad.

But the second half of that verse says that Jesus has come that they may have life and have it to the full. And that is where my hope comes from. My hope is that one day I will see God restore these lives that are broken. He is faithful, even when we are faithless. He makes all things beautiful in its own time. He does all things for His glory. These truths have changed my life and given my heart hope. I used to think that if I could feel less then my life would be easier. Until I realized that that's not real. I want to feel. I pray for that a lot. I pray for a heart that feels things. I want to feel the bad because that means I get to feel the good. I want to look at people and feel my heart break so that I can look at Christ see hope, redemption, and love. Because that is real. 



Jeremiah 29:11
I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

Romans 12:2
Do not conform to the patterns of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- his good, pleasing, and perfect will. 

John 10:10
The thief comes only to kill, steal, and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

2 Timothy 2:13
If we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself.

Ecclesiastes 3:11a
He has made everything beautiful in its time. 

Romans 9:17
I raised you up for this very purpose, that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.